|
|
|
January 1st, 2012
02:04 pm - make it count
half high and half drunk, i still wanna remember the year that passed.
truth be told, 2011 was amazing. i shed a few tears out of anger, of frustration or utter depression but now when i look back, besides the heartbreak, i had an amazing year. i remember thinking through many situations from one simplistic perspective of "rather regret doing than regret not doing", i fell flat on my face from this statement several times but looking back, im glad i did what i did many a time.
But the year passed to fast, i barely remember now what happened from jan-jun. Beside OPI, omg the horrors. Nonetheless, despite countless failures, WKWFOC, Hall3Foc, tuitioning evelyn, my europe trip, falling in love w hall & rooming with nikki, filming dog days, taking 231, clubbing&puking, meeting lizzie and enrolling for instep, just to name whatever i can find in photo albums. All of which were amazing experiences that i'd like to rmb forever even as memory casts an element of ephemeral-ness upon those of which we hold dear, the friends who never gave up on me, those who cared and especially those i really cared for this past year.
Granted my liver and lungs suffered like hell this year, noting a significant increase in alcohol intake unlike any other year. I realise many-a-times im doomed for all that i've did and chose to live. though only half an hour into the year we finished the wine and nicotine sticks i seem to have broke many resolutions, of half hearted promises made to myself, consciously knowing im going on strike sthortly.
(okay i typed all the above upon reaching home last night, it doesnt make much sense but its gonna be my memory of 2011 therefore i shall not edit its in-coherency away)
but im gonna try and make the best out of 2012, make it count. I want to re-think where im going w life and actually get a direction. I wanna be brave in the 6mnths im in US and not do anything stupid. I wanna hold my friends tighter as those who are still around have stuck on w me are people i should never let go off.
That said, have a jolly new year all.
Also, may the world not end this year.
|
November 10th, 2011
10:50 pm
i wish i knew for sure,
that through failing time aft another,
i'll make it still someday.
|
October 11th, 2011
10:22 pm
when i bury my head underground out of embarrassment,
it really ought to stay down there and not surface again.
i dont know what i destroyed more this time- the friendship or my pride as a whole
hahaha
fucking fml
|
October 8th, 2011
04:46 pm
some friends save you from yourself unknowingly.
some friends make you wanna kill yourself, try as they might.
|
October 3rd, 2011
September 27th, 2011
12:52 pm - we could be more than amazing
everything feels strange now,
oddly detached and intangibly different.
but im think im ready to take the chance
i have nothing left to lose, anyway.
|
September 17th, 2011
12:51 am - Part of the list-
the word is inadequate i think.
an inadequate friend
an inadequate student
an inadequate daughter
person- on the whole.
if i knew me, i would prolly be damn pissed at the kind of person i am.
but its not that i dont give a fuck
its because i feel inadequate to do so,
that its not enough.
feeling increasingly compelled to go to US so that i can hide from here for a while,
to rethink and reorganise,
to find the direction i've lost for too long.
a cohesive sigh.
|
September 8th, 2011
11:58 pm - said sit down with me before you go
one year ago i would have never have felt this way
but when i leave for exchange next sem, i am really gonna miss hall3 :'(
but the bigger problem now is the fixation of having to leave my comfortable home is hindering me from enjoying and relinquishing what i have now.
|
04:11 am - we're half awake in a fake empire
these dilated gazes fall into a structured order that confirms the sombrity of our situations
oh, but how i wish things weren't like this.
|
September 7th, 2011
02:14 am
got to get started with this moving on nonsense and get a grip
without ruminating too much on the, trivial/couldhavebeens/wouldnothavebeens.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
rahhers's journal